i don't know how people who work full-time and still function as mothers do it. i don't know how people with more than one little person do it. i don't know how single parents do it. i have it easy...and i can barely do it!
i'm amazed at how "busy" i am...with nowhere i have to be, nothing i have to do...still, i am busy. my little one wakes up and asks "where are we going today, mommy?", and i cringe a little bit inside. granted, we're doing fun things, important things. things like going to see grandparents and great-grandparents. helping at church. visiting friends. going to the playground. and don't forget about the occasional not-fun grocery shopping, doctor's appointments, etc. seriously...how do other people do all of this?
i'm not complaining. i'm just saying that it's tricky to be a parent. there's a lot to juggle. some days i get into bed and i think, "yes! i did ok today!". and other days i pray, "Lord, may today not have caused too much permanent damage..." I think everybody does the best they can do, and sometimes that's good enough, and sometimes it isn't.
but it takes a village. like, for real. a village.
my village is my husband and family, my friends, my church family and MOPs group... i don't know what i would do without any of them. from babysitting duties to advice, from an ear to vent to and arms to hug...they do it all. recently, we started our third attempt at potty training our 2 1/2 year old (he will be 3 in december). the first two attempts were, shall we say...terrible. they involved a lot of pee on my floor, a lot of frustration on my part, and a whole bunch of words in my head that i can't say here. with brooks showing multiple signs of "being ready", i did the only thing i had left: i asked for help. it's not that i don't like asking for help...truly...i just was raised to try to do it myself first. and sometimes, that's painful. this time, my sister-in-law graciously gave me all the wisdom of having done this three times already (with a fourth soon-to-come). she kindly showed me that i was doing the opposite of what worked for her (although i was doing what "all the books" told me to do), and encouraged me to give this new way a try.
i won't lie and say it was easy. but it sure as heck was easier and exponentially more successful than my previous attempts. we are on day three today of no diapers (can i get a "whoop whoop!!"), and there have been some ups and downs, and a little more pee in the floor, but nothing like previously. i'm amazed at how much of this process was simply a learning process for ME! getting to know my child better, watching for his cues and signals, and definitely embracing and changing things about my own reactions and expectations. i joked on instagram that it should be called patience training instead of potty training, but in all reality, that's what it's been for me. i am not, by nature, a patient person. and this whole journey of parenthood...that's a huge part of what it's about. learning to be patient. learning to be present. learning to be less busy. while my boy sat on the potty, i got to watch him turn his hands into airplanes, listen to him make up silly songs, and we've had a lot of time to just sit and read and talk. i've had hours (no exaggeration) to stare at his long, beautiful eyelashes, wipe his tears, and cheer him on as he says "wisten (listen) mommy! pee-pee! wisten!" we've had large amounts of sugar, been through a lot of laundry and wet wipes, and i can't believe how much differently i feel about him, about parenting, and about our time together as compared to three days ago. many times over the last few days, i have wished for help, for chocolate, for wine...but there's something to be said for going through a battle together. just he and i. well...he and i and aunt tida's genius advice...
we did it, little sugarbear. we made it. we'll keep learning together, i know. be patient with me, as i am learning to be with myself. you are my gift, my miracle. and thank God you're at least halfway potty trained.
