there is a woman i admire. she goes to my church. she has lots of kids and teaches them at home, runs a home business, helps with nearly every church event, and somehow finds time to email about the blessings and lessons the Lord teaches her each week. she's beautiful, funny, skinny, has great hair and is always smiling.
after reading a particularly stirring email yesterday, i was thinking about how i would like to be more like that. it seems that no matter how much time i have at my disposal, i find ways to waste it. of course, i spend a lot of my time in wonderful ways, but there are always things each day that i wish i would have accomplished, there is always time i wish i would have spent differently. one of the things i have been putting on the back burner is a daily bible study. i have used the typical excuses..."i don't know what to read...i'll do it tonight when i am less tired...i'll wait for a new week and start fresh". maybe those excuses aren't typical...maybe they're just mine.
the difference for her, aside from the great hair and body that i have no hope of obtaining, is that she starts each day with the Lord. i try to fit Him in when it's convenient. no wonder i struggle! so, in an effort to start a new habit, i began reading a devotional study last night. the words for the day were about fidelity. i saw the title, rolled my eyes, and thought, "oh well, i don't have a problem with this. i may as well just skip it." but the Lord said, "keep reading" and i did. of course, marital fidelity is extremely important, but beyond that, the devotional talked of our fidelity with the Lord, as the church and the Bridegroom. this allegiance to the Lord, this committment to Him and His ways, the relationship of love we share with Him...chris tiegreen says in walk with God that "we cannot be captivated by another" and remain faithful to Him. and he's right.
i am so easily captivated by other things. even things that are blessings in my life, if i let them take the place of my time with God, i am wrong. i want to be captivated by the word of God. to do that, i have to read it. i have to be still. quiet. i have to listen. that may mean less laundry gets done, or i may miss a favorite tv show...i think i will survive. but i won't make it in this life without His guidance, His hand. my life thus far is living proof of that.
captivate me, Lord. turn my eyes to You in the morning, so that i am focused on You all day.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
no one told me
i have mentioned before that there are lots of things about having a baby that no one told me. perhaps the greatest of these is love.
no one told me that i would forego naps, chores, and even meals just to prolong the joy of rocking my sleeping baby. that my husband and i would argue each morning over who gets to see the first smile. that i would never get tired of hearing people say "he looks just like his mama!"
no one told me that when i go to put him to bed each night, i would spend many minutes smelling his hair, his breath, and his skin. that i would sit and stare in wonder and amazement at the precious gift in my arms. that i would have a difficult time leaving him in his bed each night, always telling him "mama loves you, brooks. holler if you need me." that i would pray each night for one more day with him... for many, many more days with him. that i would kiss his sweet little nose, his cheeks, his forehead, always wanting "just one more" before putting him in his crib.
no one told me that his giggles would make me laugh uncontrollably. that when he moves his fingers in response to being waved at, it would seem worthy of a "breaking news" interruption in television programming. that watching him splash in his whale bathtub would provide a full thirty minutes of entertainment (or at least until he gets prune-y...). that having a "conversation" would consist of "ooo's" and "ahhh's"...and that i would actually feel loved and heard during that conversation. that folding tiny clothes would bring me joy and laughter.
no one told me that crocodile tears and a protruding bottom lip would break my heart. that his smile would light up my whole day. that watching my husband rush home to see his son would bless me tremendously.
no one told me how much i would love him. how thankful i would be.
no one told me that i would forego naps, chores, and even meals just to prolong the joy of rocking my sleeping baby. that my husband and i would argue each morning over who gets to see the first smile. that i would never get tired of hearing people say "he looks just like his mama!"
no one told me that when i go to put him to bed each night, i would spend many minutes smelling his hair, his breath, and his skin. that i would sit and stare in wonder and amazement at the precious gift in my arms. that i would have a difficult time leaving him in his bed each night, always telling him "mama loves you, brooks. holler if you need me." that i would pray each night for one more day with him... for many, many more days with him. that i would kiss his sweet little nose, his cheeks, his forehead, always wanting "just one more" before putting him in his crib.
no one told me that his giggles would make me laugh uncontrollably. that when he moves his fingers in response to being waved at, it would seem worthy of a "breaking news" interruption in television programming. that watching him splash in his whale bathtub would provide a full thirty minutes of entertainment (or at least until he gets prune-y...). that having a "conversation" would consist of "ooo's" and "ahhh's"...and that i would actually feel loved and heard during that conversation. that folding tiny clothes would bring me joy and laughter.
no one told me that crocodile tears and a protruding bottom lip would break my heart. that his smile would light up my whole day. that watching my husband rush home to see his son would bless me tremendously.
no one told me how much i would love him. how thankful i would be.
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