it happened

we had a big day ahead of us. we had visits to make, a lunch date even. and we both looked super cute. i had actually managed to get us dressed, my hair fixed, and was actually ahead of schedule. we were sneaking in a quick feeding and then the plan was to get the heck out of there.

and that's when it happened.

i had prepared myself for possible spit up by covering both arms, my shoulders, and my chest with burp cloths. i knew the liklihood of getting spit up on (since i looked so cute) was high, and i was ready.

i didn't count on the poop. yes, my sweet baby had on a diaper. yes, it was properly fastened. no, it didn't hold in the poop. as i sat little brooks on my leg (one of the few areas left unprotected) for a burp, out squished the poop. it came over the top of the diaper. it plopped onto my leg and my freshly semi-ironed pants (by "semi-ironed" i mean that i had thrown them in the dryer to get some of the wrinkles out...let's face it...standards have now dropped dramatically for me...actually that's not true...i have frequently "semi-ironed" my clothes for years...now i just have an excuse!)

but back to the poop. out it came and i shrieked while brooks looked at me as if to say, "geez mom, it's just a little poop...get over it already." we both quickly derobed and wet wipes were used in excess. my next pair of pants didn't get the dryer treatment, but we managed to pull ourselves together somehow and make it in time for our dates.

good times...good times  :)

making it

i've made it a little over a month at this parenting thing. it's a little crazy.

it's weird...there's such a dichotomy of being so thankful, feeling so blessed, and loving every second of it paired with the overwhelming-ness of the constancy of parenthood. this little blessing needs me constantly. i love that. and it also feels like a lot.

i was convicted today about my prayer life. the last few days have kickstarted all of these feelings and i reached a point today where i simply had to get out of the house. i hadn't had a shower, brooks was wearing the same thing he had on yesterday, but we just got up and went. i found myself eating lunch in the car in the target parking lot...listening to lullabies on the car CD player so that you-know-who would stay asleep. the lullaby that was playing was an instrumental version of "take it to the Lord in prayer", one of my favorite hymns. as the words were pulled from my memory, the Lord began speaking to me:

are you weak and heavy-laden
troubled with a load of care...
take it to the Lord in prayer

i was reminded that He still cares. our traumatic pregnancy and birth experience are over, but He's still here and He still has plans for my life. He cares that i am a little overwhelmed. He cares that i'm tired. He cares that my laundry is piling up and that eating lunch in the car in a parking lot constitutes "getting out". and He wants to help me deal with it all...but i have to ask for His help.

i stopped right there in the middle of my chicken tortilla soup (from chick-fil-a...not too shabby...) and asked for His help. with all of it. the feedings. the naps. the lack of naps. the not-quite-knowing-what-to-do-with-this-baby-sometimes feelings. the laundry. the lack of naps (i prayed that one more than once). and i prayed for my little blessing. that as he grows, he will be patient with me, that i will be patient with him. and that we both keep enjoying this grace of life that we have been given.

i'd love to tell you that i went home and brooks slept for five hours. alas, that didn't happen. but my soul found some rest, at least. we napped for about an hour (better than nothing!), played a little, and i got the chance to take a hot bath while he played in his play gym nearby. somehow, that improved my day and my outlook. we'll do it all again tomorrow, and i know that i have to keep praying for His help, His hand, His guidance. thank You Lord for lullabies that remind me of You, and for a son that reminds me of all that You are. thank You for helping us make it.

brooks in a bowl

love

i love watching him sleep. i love the way he looks up at me with his now steel-gray eyes. i love that he clasps his little hands together while he eats. i love that he has my nose. i love that he sleeps with his hands and arms all crazy. i love how he looks in his little outfits. i love that he looks like his daddy. i love that he squeaks like a mouse. i love his soft little back. i love his old man hair. i love when he makes a little "o" with his mouth. i love that he stops crying when i hold him. i love him in his little hats. i love it when he falls asleep in my arms. i love it when he smiles for no reason at all.

thank you God for this sweet baby. i love him so much.

things i have learned

i have learned a lot in the last three weeks of motherhood. here are a few of the high points:

1. i have the cutest baby on the planet
2. they weren't kidding when they said "buy more diapers"
3. baby boogers are much less icky than grown-up boogers
4. time now moves fourteen times faster than it did prior to the arrival of brooks
5. "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" is more true than ever...this includes being able to function on four hours of sleep.
6. there is nothing hotter than a husband who says, "why don't you make a bottle so i can do the 3 a.m. feeding for you while you sleep". two nights in a row. God bless him.
7. i have a new appreciation for my beautiful, skinny ankles. welcome back ankles.
8. there is nothing more fun than staring at my son while he looks back at me with those big eyes and his little "o" mouth
9. "i got a lot done today" now means that i managed to take a shower, have on clean clothes, and accomplished at least one other task.
10. the vibration/music/nightlight machine that came with our pack-n-play should win a nobel peace prize. and we should've bought stock in AA batteries.
11.  i am "one of those" moms...the ones who take ridiculous pictures of their children...and post them for all to see. you're welcome. :)