his first ballgame

click the link to see little brooks's first ballgame: play ball!

so much fun!!

first, a song

this is a song i adapted from Joseph's Lullaby, by Mercy Me. You can listen to it  here. i used to sing it before brooks, before he was here, before i believed he would be here. God knew, though. and i think He gave me these words. He gave me the lullaby before He gave me brooks.

there have been many times in my life where the song came before the blessing. i think God works that way very purposely...we have such wicked, sinful hearts. hearts that are not prepared to accept the blessings, minds that aren't able to comprehend what He has for us. and so He begins the work. He pursues us. He captures our hearts. He convicts. He comforts. He disciplines. He breaks, puts back together, and molds us into the vessel that will accept His perfect will for our lives. and during that process, sometimes, He gives us a song. a peace, a joy, a taste of what's to come. through tears, prayer, and time spent with Him come the notes of a melody that sings of His great power, His goodness, and His extravagant love for us.

i still sing the lullaby. i will always sing the songs of the One who died for me, the One who saved me, the One who changes me, and who makes my life beautiful.

go to sleep my son
my arms, here for your bed
you have a long day before you
rest your little head

can you feel the weight of your worth to us?
do you understand our love?
does our Father guard your heart for now
so you can sleep tonight?

go to sleep my son
go and chase your dreams
this world can wait for one more moment
rest and sleep in peace

I believe a blessing from Heaven
is lying in my arms tonight
Lord, I thank You for this precious moment
thank You for this child

romans 10:15

it's the first thing i hear in the morning. over the monitor, "thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump!" with great feeling, with exuberance, with excitement ready to face the day! his little feet move faster than anything on my body...and oh, how he loves to kick those feet!
"how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

his feet and legs are moving this fast before he begins his morning conversations with looney bear, scout, and night-night. those toes are wiggling before he remembers that it's time to eat.
"how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

whether he's kicking his ball, splashing in the bathtub, sitting in his high chair, or just laying around...those feet are always moving. i am slightly terrified of how fast he will move once he figures out how to crawl and walk! i'll be chasing him all over and back again, i know.
"how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

wherever his feet go, i pray that they will be fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. that they will be quick to take the Good News wherever God leads. i pray that, as a parent, i don't hinder those little feet. that i am able to protect them, to prepare them, and to love them well on their way to wherever they are going.

these little feet were my good news from the Giver of all good things. i am excited to see what He has planned for these sweet little feet, for all ten of his toes, and for the heart that was created to love and be loved by this mama, his sweet daddy, and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

"how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

a stay-at-home mom (that's me!!)

"your little boy is so cute!" she says.
"oh, thank you" i reply.

"now, what do you do?" she asks sweetly.
"i'm a stay-at -home mom" my ears hear my mouth say.

my heart smiles. grins, actually.

it's funny. i always thought i would go back to work full-time. i love the work i do. it's challenging, it's rewarding, and i happen to care about the people i work with.

but when i became a mother, plans changed.

i started (and stopped...i need to start again) clipping coupons. i do my own nails. we cook at home more than we eat out (whoa!!! major life change here...). we make our own baby food (who would've thunk...). and i haven't bought a new shirt in months. i actually went to target recently and bought only formula and cough drops.

i don't say all of this because i'm proud (although, for me, some of this is huge). i say it to show that becoming a parent makes you willing to sacrifice. and it shows you that "sacrificing" grocery money, pedicure money, eating out money and new shirt money isn't really sacrificing at all. it's just stuff. stuff that doesn't matter.

what matters is that i get to sit in the floor and play with blocks. that i get to clean that homemade baby food out of ears, a nose, and off of every surface in reach of little hands. it matters that i look forward to bath time with toy boats and floating ducks. that dancing like an idiot to make him laugh is well worth any embarrassment. that hugs and kisses and sweet sleepy eyes never get old.

i know there will be days that are hard. i know that there will be true sacrifices that have to be made.  i am thankful that my sweet husband has spent hours going over the budget to make this work.
when we tuck our little boy in each night, we breathe prayers with grateful hearts to the One who has allowed us to be parents. we are thankful for every moment.

and i can't wait for tomorrow, another day that i get to enjoy the blessing of being his mom.

party in my crib!

today was little brooks's  7 month birthday. i have been taking pictures every month in the hopes of having his whole first year well preserved in plenty of scrapbooking paraphenalia. as the months go by, i am having a harder and harder time coming up with creative ways to commemorate each month. today, i thought it would be fun to photograph him with all of his furry friends. everyone was on board with this idea (particularly the teddy bears...they love a good group photo...) so they all piled into the crib for the photo shoot. brooks was having a blast, particularly with socks, his sock monkey. unfortunately, i couldn't get him to sit in the middle of his friends and actually look at me at the same time. so i did what any other slightly insane mother would do (assuming that no one was watching): i danced, i clapped, i yelled, i chirped like a bird and barked like a dog. my son ignored me through all of this, prompting me to attempt to imitate a siren. i think you'll see from the photo below that this did not end well.

but hey...this will be a great one for the scrapbook!!

pictured from left to right:
back row: brown bear, chocolate chip, looney bear, scout, night-night, rainbow bear
front row: the arm and leg of socks, clover the cow, alice the westie, brooks alan, angus the westie, blue bunny, lamby

i love you sweet boy!

playgym lullaby

yesterday marked day three of "going back to work". today marked the first time i fell asleep under my son's playgym.

i went to work at 8a.m. yesterday. i arrived home this morning at 9a.m.  yes, i was up all night. i work an "on call" schedule and, well, they called all night.

my sweet husband graciously manned the fort while i slept, but i just missed my little slobbery teething mess of a boy so much, i couldn't sleep for very long. that and the fact that some pipe outside decided to make a sound like a smoke alarm (?? what ??).....causing my husband to test the actual smoke alarm.....there was confusion and loud beeping and tears. lots of beeping and tears.

anyhoo...once i was up, the fun began. we snuggled. we laughed. we played with toys and changed clothes a few times (brooks, not me). i laid him under the playgym and watched for a while. he was so sweet, grabbing at things he couldn't reach until recently. he was kicking and laughing and i just couldn't stay away. so i crawled underneath the twirling birds and the laughing koala bear and the swinging hippopotamus to be with him. i smelled his sticky little boy who needs a bath smell. i laughed at the cold surprise of his wet, drool-covered hands on my cheeks. i gladly accepted the toes shoved into my face. and at some point, i fell asleep. i don't think it was for long, but all that tinkly music and twirling just sent me off to dreamland. i woke up to one of the wet hands on my face, saw the hippopotamus near my head, and laughed. brooks looked at me and smiled his mischievious "hi mom...i was awake while you were asleep!" smile.

he's growing up so fast. and i am so thankful for every second i have with him.

the beast and the dinosaur

goodbyes are hard.

our precious pups, rookie and tucker (see photos on the right sidebar of my blog), are now happy in a new home. they unfortunately weren't enjoying little brooks as much as we were, so we have had to give them to another family.

i remember the day we brought little one month old rookie home. we had picked him out of the box because he was the one who seemed the least interested in us. his brothers and sisters had been yelping and clawing to get to us, while he just slept in the corner. we thought he would be low maintenance. yeah....  he did sleep on my lap the whole way home. and that is where the sleeping stopped. he has played and jumped and barked his way through nine years with us. and he has brought us so much joy and laughter along the way. a lot of noise, but also a lot of happiness. his big brown eyes always seemed to read my thoughts. when i was sad, he knew. he would get very quiet, curl up beside me, and turn those eyes up to my face, as if to say, "it's ok...i am here and i love you".

sweet tucker came along a few years later. his scraggly, furry face jumped out at us from the ad on the internet from the westie rescue organization. he looked so sad...we just had to have him. we met him at a rest stop and fell in love. his freely given kisses and independent spirit have given us so many reasons to smile and laugh. though sometimes a loner, he too seemed to know when his love was needed, and he would rise from his perch atop the back of our chair, and slowly come over for a belly scratch and some kisses.

giving them away has been one of the hardest things we have done. we had to, of course, for the good of our family, but that didn't make it any easier. animals have the purest hearts. they just love and ask that you love them back. a great family has them now and is working to train them a little better before finding them their new forever family. through my sobs as i said goodbye i said, "i love you. have a happy life". that is all i wish for them. that someone will love them as much as we do and that they will continue to bring joy into the lives of those they love.

we miss you little beast and the dinosaur. thank you for the blessing that you were in our lives.