jackson

we took a little trip recently. just the three of us. it was probably the cheapest trip i have ever been on...and also one of the most fun!

my husband and i met at union university, in dr. day's old testament class, fifteen years ago (we are getting so old!!). to celebrate such a momentous occasion, he surprised me with a weekend of reliving the good old days.

we drove to jackson, tn and spent the day retracing our steps, remembering the fun we had getting to know each other, remembering falling in love. we found our old classroom (if not for jeremy, i am fairly certain i would have ended up stranded on that campus, completely lost...he has the memory of an elephant). we found "the grill" where he first asked me out on a date. we found the steps nearby where we talked. we walked out to the baseball field, which is totally different now, but still full of memories for him. the sugar shack was gone, but we pulled out those memories too. it was so much fun. so romantic.

somehow, he also remembered how to get to the putt-putt golf place where we had our first date (and our first kiss). the girl working the desk took some pictures of the three of us. it was so perfect seeing all these places again with brooks. it was like being able to step back from our lives and see the full circle of God's plan. we had no idea when we met that we would be so blessed, that we would still be madly in love with each other and that we would have our sweet baby boy. we had no idea that we would go through the trials we have faced, and that God would bless us so tremendously with His grace and His perfect sovreignty and timing.

i have no idea where He will lead us in the next fifteen years. i can't step back and see all of that right now. but i hope that He continues to help me to trust that plan. this life He has given all of us is so precious. i can hardly wait to see what's in store for our family.

zoom

i know, i know...they grow up quickly. but this quickly?? i can hardly believe it. i feel like we just brought little brooks home from the hospital yesterday. we blinked, and now we're helping him shovel little chunks of chicken into his mouth (small enough not to choke on...don't worry, gigi) and clearing paths for him to practice his crawling/breakdancing (he lays on his thighs with his tummy off the ground and spins around and around with his hands...it's kind of a combination of the two). he has four teeth, pulls himself to a standing position, says "dada" and "momma" (it's more like mamamamama, but i'll take it...). tomorrow he'll be applying for jobs and getting married.

i pray every day that God would give us more time...more memories. and that He would help me to remember it all. i want to remember the things that make him laugh (daddy shaking his hat and saying "wacka!", peek-a-boo, elmo, "woo!"). i want to remember the times when he snuggles up close and just watches me with those big beautiful brown eyes. i don't want to forget his face covered in food, his hands grabbing at everything, the sound of his cries stopping the instant he's in my arms. i want to remember reading books, playing in flour, splashing in the bath tub, banging pots and pans. rocking and singing lullabies...falling asleep together...the way his face lights up when daddy comes home.

there's just so much. we can only cram so much into a day, and i don't want to take any of it for granted. i am so thankful for my times with him, for the memories. i don't remember being at home with my mom when i was little. but i know that she stayed home with me...and she has so many memories of the fun we had. i love hearing the stories of how much she enjoyed being with me. and i love that one day i can tell him the same stories.

his first ballgame

click the link to see little brooks's first ballgame: play ball!

so much fun!!

first, a song

this is a song i adapted from Joseph's Lullaby, by Mercy Me. You can listen to it  here. i used to sing it before brooks, before he was here, before i believed he would be here. God knew, though. and i think He gave me these words. He gave me the lullaby before He gave me brooks.

there have been many times in my life where the song came before the blessing. i think God works that way very purposely...we have such wicked, sinful hearts. hearts that are not prepared to accept the blessings, minds that aren't able to comprehend what He has for us. and so He begins the work. He pursues us. He captures our hearts. He convicts. He comforts. He disciplines. He breaks, puts back together, and molds us into the vessel that will accept His perfect will for our lives. and during that process, sometimes, He gives us a song. a peace, a joy, a taste of what's to come. through tears, prayer, and time spent with Him come the notes of a melody that sings of His great power, His goodness, and His extravagant love for us.

i still sing the lullaby. i will always sing the songs of the One who died for me, the One who saved me, the One who changes me, and who makes my life beautiful.

go to sleep my son
my arms, here for your bed
you have a long day before you
rest your little head

can you feel the weight of your worth to us?
do you understand our love?
does our Father guard your heart for now
so you can sleep tonight?

go to sleep my son
go and chase your dreams
this world can wait for one more moment
rest and sleep in peace

I believe a blessing from Heaven
is lying in my arms tonight
Lord, I thank You for this precious moment
thank You for this child

romans 10:15

it's the first thing i hear in the morning. over the monitor, "thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump!" with great feeling, with exuberance, with excitement ready to face the day! his little feet move faster than anything on my body...and oh, how he loves to kick those feet!
"how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

his feet and legs are moving this fast before he begins his morning conversations with looney bear, scout, and night-night. those toes are wiggling before he remembers that it's time to eat.
"how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

whether he's kicking his ball, splashing in the bathtub, sitting in his high chair, or just laying around...those feet are always moving. i am slightly terrified of how fast he will move once he figures out how to crawl and walk! i'll be chasing him all over and back again, i know.
"how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

wherever his feet go, i pray that they will be fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. that they will be quick to take the Good News wherever God leads. i pray that, as a parent, i don't hinder those little feet. that i am able to protect them, to prepare them, and to love them well on their way to wherever they are going.

these little feet were my good news from the Giver of all good things. i am excited to see what He has planned for these sweet little feet, for all ten of his toes, and for the heart that was created to love and be loved by this mama, his sweet daddy, and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

"how beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

a stay-at-home mom (that's me!!)

"your little boy is so cute!" she says.
"oh, thank you" i reply.

"now, what do you do?" she asks sweetly.
"i'm a stay-at -home mom" my ears hear my mouth say.

my heart smiles. grins, actually.

it's funny. i always thought i would go back to work full-time. i love the work i do. it's challenging, it's rewarding, and i happen to care about the people i work with.

but when i became a mother, plans changed.

i started (and stopped...i need to start again) clipping coupons. i do my own nails. we cook at home more than we eat out (whoa!!! major life change here...). we make our own baby food (who would've thunk...). and i haven't bought a new shirt in months. i actually went to target recently and bought only formula and cough drops.

i don't say all of this because i'm proud (although, for me, some of this is huge). i say it to show that becoming a parent makes you willing to sacrifice. and it shows you that "sacrificing" grocery money, pedicure money, eating out money and new shirt money isn't really sacrificing at all. it's just stuff. stuff that doesn't matter.

what matters is that i get to sit in the floor and play with blocks. that i get to clean that homemade baby food out of ears, a nose, and off of every surface in reach of little hands. it matters that i look forward to bath time with toy boats and floating ducks. that dancing like an idiot to make him laugh is well worth any embarrassment. that hugs and kisses and sweet sleepy eyes never get old.

i know there will be days that are hard. i know that there will be true sacrifices that have to be made.  i am thankful that my sweet husband has spent hours going over the budget to make this work.
when we tuck our little boy in each night, we breathe prayers with grateful hearts to the One who has allowed us to be parents. we are thankful for every moment.

and i can't wait for tomorrow, another day that i get to enjoy the blessing of being his mom.

party in my crib!

today was little brooks's  7 month birthday. i have been taking pictures every month in the hopes of having his whole first year well preserved in plenty of scrapbooking paraphenalia. as the months go by, i am having a harder and harder time coming up with creative ways to commemorate each month. today, i thought it would be fun to photograph him with all of his furry friends. everyone was on board with this idea (particularly the teddy bears...they love a good group photo...) so they all piled into the crib for the photo shoot. brooks was having a blast, particularly with socks, his sock monkey. unfortunately, i couldn't get him to sit in the middle of his friends and actually look at me at the same time. so i did what any other slightly insane mother would do (assuming that no one was watching): i danced, i clapped, i yelled, i chirped like a bird and barked like a dog. my son ignored me through all of this, prompting me to attempt to imitate a siren. i think you'll see from the photo below that this did not end well.

but hey...this will be a great one for the scrapbook!!

pictured from left to right:
back row: brown bear, chocolate chip, looney bear, scout, night-night, rainbow bear
front row: the arm and leg of socks, clover the cow, alice the westie, brooks alan, angus the westie, blue bunny, lamby

i love you sweet boy!