rest

our pastor preached on psalm 46 today:
verse 1 says that "God is our protection and our strength. He always helps in times of trouble." it goes on to describe the abundance of that protection and strength and paints a beautiful picture of the refuge that Jesus can be for a weary soul. but as compelling as this part of the chapter is, it's verse 10 that caught my heart's attention today: "be still and know that I am God." be still. this isn't something i excel at. even when i sleep, i wiggle around all over the place and usually end up in a knot of pajamas and sheets. i don't do still very well at all. but this is what God commands. this is how we are to be if we wish to hear His voice, feel His touch, experience His blessings. the meaning of the word "still" in this verse is described in ancient texts as a command to cease striving, stop fighting....to rest!!

this stepped on my toes a little bit. i am a fighter. i am a nurse and my very existence in the hospital is a function of fighting. i fight for my patients, i fight for their families, i fight against diseases, i fight against death. to be still in my profession is to give up. to be still is to allow the dark to win. to be still is to admit defeat. my brain just doesn't work that way. if i'm honest, my pride doesn't work that way. ouch!! but even on my best days, His way is sooo much better. after all, it's only through His power and grace that i am ever successful at any endeavor i enter into. in my spiritual life, i have a hard time turning off the "i can handle it" switch. i heard mary beth chapman describe this tendency as feeling like God needed me to be the fouth member of the trinity. while i am not bold enough to admit out loud that i feel that way, i surely act that way sometimes! and when things get rough...what do i do first? i try to handle it and then go to God. this is so backwards, so contrary to what He wants to be in our lives. He says, "stop fighting, rest in Me. let Me be your refuge, the river that brings you joy, your protection and strength in times of trouble." why do i make it so hard on myself? why do i insist on trying it my way first? i love this chapter and i love the lesson that it taught me today. rest. rest in God's ways. they are always better. they are always true. His grace is enough...if we only let Him be enough...if we rest.