clean your mouth out with soap!

i got a physical today. haven't had one in five years. it was kind of a disaster.

i got called back after a forty-five minute wait and stepped on the scale. i looked at the number (which shall not be named). i asked if i could remove my scarf. and my shoes. and my light jacket. the number didn't actually decrease...at all. i checked to see if maybe the nurse was standing on the scale with me. she wasn't.

fast-forward to the whole doctor/patient discussion time. we talked about my stress level (it's a tiny bit high). we talked about my coping mechanisms of trying to handle it all myself, not talk to anyone about my feelings, and act like everything is ok (apparently these aren't acceptable?). we talked about how my shoulders and neck are so tense and knotted up that my hands fall asleep regularly throughout the day (it's called "pressure neuropathy").

and then he said a terrible thing: you need to exercise.

there aren't a whole lot of things i hate doing more than i hate exercising. treadmills make me testy. ellipticals make me edgy. zumba makes me zany. and those tiny little girls in tiny little outfits? i can't handle it. i hate walking. i loathe running. i don't like being hot. if i had thought i could get away with it when he said it, i would have stomped my foot and made a "hmmmph" sound.

but supposedly exercise (i choke on the word) is necessary. so cue the rock music...charge up the ipod...let's break out those tennis shoes.

it's time to relax. it's time to deal. it's time to get skinny. er.