catching up

whew! it feels good to finally find some time to write. i have all these things swimming around in my head that i haven't yet had time to put into words.

my little boy is two months old. time is flying by, and he gets sweeter with every day. we survived his two month shots, (who knew such a little person could scream so loudly?) and he is really smiling and starting to learn to play. my little smarty-pants has figured out (several weeks ago) how to roll from his tummy to his back, making "tummy time" somewhat difficult. brooks is a happy baby and we are enjoying every single minute with him!

we got the chance on saturday to spend some time with our church friends, and we were so very blessed! there are several couples going through trials similar to those we have been through. i don't think it's a coincidence that we have all been brought together into the same class. it was interesting hearing people speak, watching stories unfold, with all of us feeling like the beginnings of a ministry to couples struggling with infertility, loss, and going through adoptions might be taking form. i can only hope that God allows us to be a part of whatever He is doing through our class. please pray that we will all be sensitive to His will and open to the roles He might have for us. i don't know what God is up to, but i hope i get to be involved!

in the meantime, my side of our family is being hit hard by satan. i see these people that i love so dearly dealing with their pain, some of it caused by their own unwillingness to repent and change, and it is difficult to watch. our family is literally falling apart. i see sins that have entrapped me in the past causing brokenness in their lives, and i can only pray that God gently breaks their hearts in a way that causes them to reach for Him. i know they know He is there, that His way is best, but their choices are preventing them from experiencing the freedom and joy that comes from His blessings. i am sad for them...i have been where they are. i had to be broken. i want so badly for them to see what God can do if they will let Him... i just needed more Jesus. it's a need that will never be fully met. i will always need more of Him. i think they need more of Him too. He is the only way out of the pain they are in. and it's so hard to see when you are in the middle of the pain. i remember. i pray i never forget. i want to always remember the broken, guilty, and dead parts of my heart that He healed and pulled me out of...not to feel shame, but to reflect and rejoice in the forgiveness, the healing, the grace that replaced it all.