the crippled lamb

there's a book i always read at christmas time called "the crippled lamb" by max lucado (one of my most favorite authors). it's a children's book, but the message is so applicable to my life. it's a story about a lamb who is lame. the lamb is very sad that he isn't able to run and play, that the farmer has to feed him in the barn, and most upsetting to him of all, he can't go out to pasture with the other sheep. the lamb loves going out to pasture.

so one night, while all the other sheep and lambs are out to pasture, the crippled lamb is lying in the hay in the barn. he is crying, sad, and feeling very sorry for himself. suddenly, he hears a sound he hasn't heard before. the other animals in the barn investigate and they find a young woman amidst the hay. she is crying and seems to be in pain. the little lamb scoots closer, trying to comfort the woman. the other animals do the same and she seems comforted by their warmth and kind eyes. they stay this way all night, watching her, trying to help her in some way, as she labors with the child she is trying to deliver.

eventually, the baby is born. the little lamb is in awe at the beautiful baby boy, so perfect, so small. even more amazing are the visitors that begin to arrive. there are wise men bearing extravagant gifts, shepherds who have left their flocks to come and see this baby. all the while, the lamb lays close to the woman and her baby. he feels so blessed to have been a part of this birth. as the visitors talk to each other, as the woman talks to her baby, he begins to listen. he learns that this isn't an ordinary baby. all the visitors begin worshipping this Child, calling Him Jesus, the Son of God. the lamb cannot believe his ears or his eyes! when the other sheep return from the pasture, the crippled little lamb has quite a story to tell. he was there for the birth of the King. he was there to comfort the Savior as He came into the world. he was there when Jesus was born.

this story always brings tears to my eyes, and it always pulls at my heart. there are so many days that i feel like the crippled lamb. i feel unworthy, crippled, unlovely. sometimes i feel useless, uneasy, and jealous of others who are different from me. i find myself wishing my circumstances were different, wishing my body, my heart, my faith were different. i catch my heart longing to be in the pasture with the others who are happy and healthy. but God has called me to stay inside for now. and what i see as being crippled in some ways are just a part of His perfect plan for me. i don't know what i will be a part of in the future. i don't know what blessings i may encounter. but i trust in my Savior, my Redeemer, my Friend. only He can use my lameness to bring glory to Himself.

and so...i will lie in the hay. i will watch the door of the barn. i will wait, expectantly, hopefully, and prayerfully. and i will be ready for what He has to show me. i will be ready for His perfect plan, the one that i can't quite see.