baby Jesus has been stolen from me. as have His parents, a sheep, and one lonely manger.
my aunt ginna is now the proud and very smug owner of a lovely snow globe of baby Jesus and His family. she stole it from me. actually my cousin angie (who has a history of thievery) stole it first; aunt ginna stole it from her.
perhaps you wonder at my extreme unhappiness at such audacity. you should know that i am a sore loser (see the aforementioned bananagrams debacle in my earlier post). i have been losing for a large portion of my life, and i have become quite bitter about it. when i was younger, my cousins and i always participated in an easter egg hunt. my grandmother hid a golden egg that had five dollars inside. i never found the golden egg. my cousin angie always found the golden egg (or at least that's how i remember it). she has gloated about it for years and even gave me a photo last christmas commemorating her victory. it's a sweet little picture of angie, age 6 or 7, holding the golden egg triumphantly in the air after finding it. in the far left of the picture is a sad little girl, age 5 or 6, head down, pigtails hanging, looking longingly at that egg. that's me. poor little me. she even included a golden egg in the gift with the framed photograph. as if i want it now...
and so, the stealing continues. we play "dirty santa" every year. everyone gets a number, you choose a gift when it's your turn, and the people that come after you can either choose to open a wrapped gift or steal yours. i took the high road this year and chose to open a wrapped gift. i was rewarded with a precious little snow globe with the beautiful depiction of the nativity. even the box was pretty and sweet. i made it through multiple rounds until angie came up short in the present department. someone stole her towels, she stole baby Jesus, and the rest is history. my sister tried to help me out by concocting a plan: i was to steal what she wanted (she also got robbed) and then when it was her turn, she would steal baby Jesus back for me. we just didn't count on aunt ginna.
aunt ginna is a tiny little woman. she's sweet and precious and super cute. she always has a smile for everyone she meets and she gives very good hugs. she even loves elmo (a great deal). but do not be fooled by this one. she smiled at me so sweetly as she took baby Jesus from angie. she even offered to let me come look at Him at her house. the nerve...
well, aunt ginna. angie. lesson learned. both of you had better come prepared to next year's christmas gathering. better get your A-game out. brush up on your slippery-ness, your mean streaks, your flagrant disregard for all things holy. you will be sorry (insert sweet smile here).
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