learning to trust

so many of the lessons i have learned have been in trusting God. i was thinking recently about all that God has taught me over the last couple of years...and i was wondering what made learning to trust so difficult for me.

being on this side of things...feeling blessed...having my prayers answered...it's much easier to trust in Him. and yet, satan regularly tempts me to stop. trusting is a daily choice for me...it's a conscious decision i have to make. it makes no sense to me that i could have fear and worry after all He has done in my life..and yet i do sometimes.

i think trusting God is something you just have to do. it can't be reasoned out. it doesn't always feel good. it rarely adheres to our preconceived plans. in short, in our human hearts, it just doesn't make good sense. every unknowing part of us screams out that we can handle it, that there's no way the unseen can be better than whatever we have planned. and yet, it is. God's way is always better. it's not easier, necessarily, and it isn't free from pain. but it's better.

i don't understand everything that's happened in my life. but i made a choice to trust in His plan, and He has blessed me through that. i am so thrilled to be pregnant with a healthy baby so far. and i believe there is more happiness to come.  however, trusting God didn't "feel good" at first. it wasn't easy. but every day that i choose to trust makes it easier. feeling the peace that comes from letting go of my way helps me have the ability to do it again tomorrow. it's part of His blessing...that confirmation that He is in control, that He knows what He's doing, and that He loves us way too much to give us less than the best.

i am so thankful that He cares enough to remind me.