and what a day it was

this is our brooks.

he was born on 12/13/11 at 8:50 am and weighed 5lbs, 5oz. he was 17 3/4 in. long.

i will never forget this day, not a single minute of it.

our planned c-section turned into yet another time for God to show me that He is God.

the medical team had just given me my epidural and started the medicine that would allow me to be numb but awake for the birth of my son. a few minutes into the numbing, my worst nightmare began happening before my eyes. my little boy's heart rate dropped dramatically as the medicine they were giving me caused my blood pressure to decrease, preventing him from getting the bloodflow he had come to rely upon. as reassuring nurses began making frantic phone calls, they rushed to finish prepping me for the surgery. it is only by the grace of God that i was numb enough to avoid needing general anesthesia. i am told there were people running down the hospital halls, trying to get to us quickly. as i laid there on the operating room table, staring at the ceiling, with tears rolling down my face, i begged God for one more miracle. i heard myself saying out loud, "You can't do this to me, this can't happen." my heart was terrified as i could see that my little boy wasn't improving on the monitors, and all i could pray was that God would spare us one more time, that He would allow us this precious baby. my husband was brought in quickly. he too was praying as he tried to reassure me that God had it under control. the surgeon rushed in, quickly made my incision, and had my little one out in two minutes. there was an agonizing few minutes that followed while they gave brooks oxygen and a few breaths to stimulate his little body to recover.

they say that hearing your baby cry for the first time is life changing. that is the largest understatement i have ever heard. my tears of fear, grief, and pleading turned to sobs of pure joy, gratitude, relief, and happiness as brooks cried his first loud cry that told me everything was ok. jeremy and i shared some very sweet moments as we waited to get to see him. he was summoned over to the bassinet to meet his son and i heard him cry, "he's beautiful!".  shortly after he brought our son over to meet me, his mother. we thanked our Lord for further proof of His hand in our lives as a family.

our journey has just begun. thank you Father. thank you more than i could ever express.