today is the day before we might finally get to meet you. it's just a regular thursday. i am supposed to be working (but i'm not...still in my pajamas actually...). your dad's at work (i think he made it on time this morning! no small thing...). rookie and tucker are running around barking their heads off (if you have any odd memories of loud noises from the womb, they would be the culprits). it's cold outside, but the sun is out today so all the spruce trees around our yard are frosty and pretty with a layer of fog rolling around behind them. i have the fireplace on and it's nice and cozy inside. it's almost christmas, so the tree is up, your stocking is full of goodies, rudolph's christmas town is out in full force, and the nativity is backlit the way your dad likes it. there are colored lights on the mailbox and rosebush as well as on the tree by the door. we even have a little tree in your room, just waiting for you to come home to.
years from now, if you ever read about all the days leading up to you, i want you to know what today was like for us. God may decide to keep you in my tummy a little longer, but if not, then you will be here tomorrow. it's a miracle that you've stayed in there as long as you have. some doctors told us not to try to have a baby. then we had two miscarriages. we started trying to adopt, thinking that we would never be able to carry a child ourselves.
and then there was you.
we found out in april 2011 that we were pregnant with you. since then, we've had lots of tests, lots of ultrasounds, and through lots of prayers God has proven all the doctors wrong. you are healthy, you are strong, you have a great head of hair (from what we can tell), and you are perfectly made in the image of Christ. your dad and i have had to work on having faith in God's plan, as not every day has been easy. there have been days we thought you might not make it, days we worried we might never get to see you. but our God has been so faithful and has "supplied our every need" just like He talks about in His word. through our experience of being pregnant with you, He has shown us grace, mercy, and compassion beyond anything we even asked for. He has blessed our hearts and lives tremendously just by allowing us to be your parents.
you, son, are so very loved. we don't know what you're going to look like. we don't know how tall you'll be, if you'll be good at sports or school or piano or basket weaving. we don't know if you'll be fiesty, easygoing, or somewhere in between. frankly, we don't care. we love you. we love you more than i could ever express in words...it's something your dad and i both felt and knew the instant we knew we had you in my tummy. you are our beautiful and precious gift from God, and there is nothing on this earth that could ever make us not love you.
even better than that, though, is that Jesus loves you. hopefully, this isn't the first time you've heard that, but i want to make sure you understand. He has given you a life here, with us, because He wants to have a relationship with you. He is a better Father than even your awesome dad could ever be. He knows you inside and out because He created you. He knows your good moments, your bad ones, and all the ones in between...and He loves you no matter what. i hope by the time you read this that you have a relationship with Him, one in which you've experienced the ways His love can make a difference in your life. if not, then know that we are praying for you to come to know Him and that He longs to love on you the way that only He can.
we are so excited to meet you tomorrow. we have dreamed of that moment, prayed for the chance to have our sweet baby boy in our arms, to hear your cry and to see your face. i doubt we'll be able to sleep tonight...and you probably won't let us sleep much for a while, but that's ok. no matter what happens tomorrow or in the coming years, know that you are worth it. every second we have had with you, every moment we will get with you in the future...you have been worth the wait little one. we don't understand everything that happened before you came to be, but all of it led up to you, and that makes it all ok. God's plan is beautiful like that...it doesn't always make sense to us, but when we rest in it, it turns the pain and the confusion into something beautiful and perfect. you are the beautiful and the perfect. our miracle baby. our blessing that makes our cup overflow.
we can't wait to meet you tomorrow, brooks. in case you get confused, we'll be the ones crying and laughing and maybe passing out on the floor. we'll be the ones you call mom and dad. we'll be your parents. and we will be the most blessed people in the world. 1 Peter 3:7 says that we are "heirs together of the grace of life". though we don't deserve it, we are all heirs together, all three of us, of the grace of life that Christ gives. our lives, your life...it's all a gift from Him.
thank you Lord, for our brooks. watch over him tomorrow, bring him safely into this world. protect him. set him apart for You. equip us to love him perfectly. hold us together as only You can. we love him, Lord, and we love You. thank You for Your blessings, for miracle after miracle. thank You for brooks. thank You for our son.
we love you sweet boy. see you tomorrow!
love always, mom and dad
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